US to Relocate Afghanistan

Can they do that? Yes, they can!

Incredible as this may sound, this is no joke. Ok, thats partly a lie. Afghanistan is a joke. But not the idea. Ok, thats also a lie. I made this up. As a joke. Still, hear me out.

After years of sending troops (interestingly, a group of monkeys is also called a troop but I'm not trying to imply anything) over there to fight the war, the US is now bored. Thats right, just plain bored. They really do know where everyone is hiding. But whats the fun in just jumping in front of Osama (spelt with an S and not a B) and shouting 'tag, you're it!' when you can keep playing the game. However, a change in venue is always good to keep the boys interested.

One would recall that when Moses met the burning bush, the events that followed involved a mass exodus (exoduses / exodusi do tend to be mass) and what not. In this case, Obama too met a burning Bush. His name was George. And he was going down. In flames. So, what does our Obama (spelt with a B and not an S) do that our Bush did not? He decides to remove all the Afghans from Afghanistan and take them some place else. Why? Just for fun.

Some other reasons for doing this include

- Irritating neighbors. (spelt Pak..noo, not pakora)
- Dust in the eyes
- Intermittent water supply
- Power cuts

OK! There just isnt any reason to stay in Afghanistan, is there? Amazing they didnt think of moving earlier. So, what next?

The action plan

- gather all Afghans, put them in a ship, take them to Texas
- they blend in with Mexicans (racist disclaimer)
- marines join cowboys who are alredy engaged in shooting up the average Hose' (Mexican name, not a water conduit)
- all are happy (except for Osama, who is now called Hoolio. It just doesnt have the same effect. Imagine the television channels talking about a global hunt for Al-Qaeda chief Hooolio.)

Oh and in case you're wondering what they'll do with all the vacant real estate in Afghanistan, dont fret. They intend to put up a giant Walmart there. This will be the Walmart to end all Walmarts. Just like World War 1. From this mega giga Walmart, they'll service all of Asia and Europe. The whole world is at peace. Till they decide to start Walmart 2 , of course.